I can help.

My wife and I were at the store last week. It was pouring outside all afternoon. The raindrops were of the heavy sort; each drop made "THUD" sound rather than a soft splash.

When it finally cleared up, we went outside to wipe down the glass. We were at opposite ends of the window, probably about 25 feet between us. I heard just the softest crack from up above. Within just a slip second, I was huddled over my wife while she was crouching down. The back of my shirt was torn and shredded. There was a cloud of dust rising from the ground, flowing away from the cars passing by (the street is only 3 yards from the front of the store). We open our eyes and find large pieces of plaster and stucco all around us. Most of the larger pieces were attached a rusted and bent wire frame. It was a little of over 10 feet long. There was a U-shape bend in the frame, presumably from where it landed on my back. We looked up and saw the stucco facade from the second floor of the building was gone. Where the facade once was we saw rotten, wet wood.

We quickly took several steps away from the building to avoid the path of any further falling debris. My wife then punched me in the arm and asked, "Are you okay."

"Oww!", I replied. "Of course I am. What about you?"

"I'm fine. Are you crazy?!"

"Why'd you punch me?! Crazy? Are you sure you're okay?"

"If you were standing so close to me, why didn't you just pull me away instead of jump on top of me! You could've gotten us killed!"

"Um, you're welcome?"

We hugged each other shortly thereafter. That building truly is a mess and is literally falling apart. My wife checked my back and couldn't find a single scratch or tear in my skin. She thought it was odd since there was blood on my torn shirt.

"Would you believe I was stung by a radioactive mosquitoe while at an abandoned missle silo that caused me to have both super-strength and rapid healing abilities?" I said in a sarcastic tone.

"We are not letting our kids read your old comicbooks, so you might as well sell them already," she said. "This isn't blood on your shirt. It's rust and paint from the wall."

"Oh, right. Rust and paint."

AM: Dunkin Donuts Medium Roast, Cream with Catcus Honey
PM: Cafecito